Consistency is not too much to ask. Honesty is not too much to ask. Effort, presence, respect, the simple decency of being treated like you matter- nope, none of that was ever too much. It was only ever too much for the specific person you were asking.
I spent years knocking on a door that was never going to open, convinced that if I just knocked the right way, softened my voice enough, made myself smaller and easier to let in, it would finally give. It was not the knock. It was the door. Some doors are locked from the inside by a person who has no intention of ever turning that key, no matter how great you are, no matter how patiently you wait on the step.
I was told I needed too much reassurance, when what I needed was a man who did not leave me guessing where I stood. I was told I was too sensitive, when what I was was awake enough to notice when love and neglect were being handed to me in the same sentence. Stop chasing an explanation that will finally make his behavior make sense. Stop overthinking your way into a kinder version of a story that was never kind to begin with. You don't need to keep collecting evidence when the crime is being committed right in front of your eyes.
You find the door that was already built to open for exactly who you are.
I am no longer the woman who spent her nights trying to make herself into a smaller key for a lock that was never going to turn. I am the woman who finally understood that her needs were never the problem, and stopped auditioning for people who were only ever going to grade her down for having them. Somewhere there is a door built for exactly what I bring to it, and I am done knocking on the ones that were never meant to open.